blessed

today i feel incredibly blessed. i went for a run this morning (4 miles...training for a half marathon babbbyyy!) and listened to a Matt Chandler podcast on my ipod. i started podcast listening while running instead of music and kind of enjoy it. i listen more. weird, i know. anyways, it was really insightful - talking about Habbakuk and how God answers our prayers-whether we realize it or not. one thing Matt said is how he answers our prayers by allowing us to breathe each morning...wow! umm so true!

so i got to thinking about the blessings in my life...instead of pouting because this hasn't gone my way, or because i'm feeling lonely...i decided to praise God for the precious friends and family that are in my life. I mean let's be real, I can text/call any one of my closest friends and ask for prayer and they will. just yesterday i was having a difficult time and texted my best friend from home and asked for prayer. she immediately responded via text with prayer. i was driving (don't read this mom and dad) and immediately teared up. why? well many reasons...i'm an emotional girl...and because i feel so loved, even by that simple prayer.

nonetheless-God has placed SOO many people in my life...from all around (virginia, tennessee, texas, illinois, etc...) who love me for ME. and who lift me up when i am down, who hold me accountable, who laugh with me, who cheer for the Steelers with me, and who will be in my life for years and years to come.

how are you feeling blessed today?

(one more 'blessing'...the Steeler's are in the SuperBowl!!!!!)

back and blogging

So...I'm back blogging! It has been almost 2 years since I've blogged, and for some reason I just want to start it up again...A lot has happened over the years, but I just want to focus on the here and now. Where God has me...and the journey He has me on :)

My goal at this time in my life is to enjoy and love the life that God has blessed me with. I hope to share with you where God has me and my heart, as well as just fun things going on in the life of kelly. I don't know where I am going or where God will have me next...what I cannot see-

God CAN! love that! Anyways, here goes nothing...

So: HI blogging world. I am back!

And what better way to be back then a classic 'kelly' face...

a life that counts

so yesterday at church, our pastor spoke about David and finding the strength to carry and fight on.  We read from 1 Samuel 30 and went through David's life (how he was chosen King, then went through a lot of hardships, and finally was anointed King as God's vision was fulfilled)

At points in his life, David felt that there was no energy left to even care!  As I think about that, I realize that sometimes I'm in that same exact spot...I just don't want to care or do anything.  But the real question is how do we find strength?

2 Timothy 4:17 says "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth."

and

Isaiah 40:30-31 (one of my favorites) "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men 

stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar 

on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

David fought on because the Lord stood with him:

I continue to fight because the Lord stands with me.

a life that counts finds strength

routines

do you ever feel like your life is  a broken record?  just going and going...doing the same thing.  we get into these daily routines and forget to really live.  i feel like i get caught up in doing the same stuff that i start to live just to get by...i'm not living each day to its' fullest.

so how do we get out of that funk?

that daily routine?

just some thoughts...

yes or no

So the other night I watched Yes, Man.  I thought it was a pretty funny movie!  But it got me thinking.  The basic gist of the movie is that this guy (Jim Carey) always says no to people until he goes to this "Yes" meeting and vows to say yes to everyone and everything.  I think Jim Carey is hilarious, so I loved how the whole movie played out.

But anywayyyys.  I'm kind of the opposite of this guy.  I tend to always say yes...and I've thought to myself, why is this?  I think a lot of the reason is that I'm afraid to let people down and disappoint them.  I love doing things for people and helping out, but sometimes my life gets too busy that I don't even have time for myself.  I weasle my way around saying no (even if it's a legit reason!).  In the last few months I really have begun to actually say no, and I don't think it's a bad thing.

I think it's key to have a balance between saying yes and no.  You can't always say yes, because you'll lose a bit of yourself.  But you can't always say no, because then you're not really doing anything.  So that's what I'm working on.  Saying yes and no-because I believe that makes me healthier.

Are you a yes or a no person?  Or both?!

bye-bye teenager

today is my last day of being a teenager.

crazy!!!

any ideas on what to do on my last day?!

or my first day of non-teenaged years?!

dream on

do you ever have dreams that either seem totally real or ones that bug you...and you end up thinking about them way too much or what they could mean.

the other night i had one of those dreams that bugged me the entire next day.  i think that one of the biggest things that bothered me was that i felt helpless in my dream, and i started to be afraid that this was going to happen.  i've come so far in the past few months and for that to just be flushed away (like it was in my dream) scared me.

one of my best friends that i work with at camp in texas said, you know what kelly, satan is trying to get to you and you can't let him.  she's right.  satan knows what will make me anxious and cause me to worry and he knows just how to do it.  i guess this came in the form of a dream.  but satan's not winning this game!  

so anyways, i'm not listening to this dream.  it's in the back of my mind.

oh yeah and also.  you know what happens to me quite a bit?  i can't remember if someone said something and it was in my dream or in reality.  like if you call me in the middle of the night, i'll answer...but i'll be half asleep and so confused in the morning.

well GOOD NIGHT :)

walk with Him

so the one challenge I've taken on this week is walking with my best friend...through anything and everything.  Yes, I know He's with me all the time-but I feel like I neglect the One who gave up everything just for me.  recently I've just felt so distant from Christ in my daily life.  i've just felt such in a fog, like i'm going around in circles, and honestly i wouldn't turn to Christ when i know i need to.  so how am i doing this week?

i've felt so lost from myself and from Christ in me, that i'm slowly stripping away the loneliness i've felt in myself.  one thing that someone said that's hit me is "how can i see Jesus in me when I can't even see myself?" - there's just been a fog within me from so much going on...

but slowly i can see Christ working in me and through all the struggles i've gone through in the past few months.  i'm turning to my best friend.  the One who has and will always be there for me even when i may stray.  i can't even fathom that sometimes...

happy st patrick's day!

just wanted to say HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY :)

I made green chocolate chip cookies!  I'd put a picture of them up on here but 1.  they don't look to appetizing (but they taste delicious!) and 2. i've lost my connector thing for my camera...

if you want some, come stop by! hehehe

I was going to make green pancakes, but today's a busy day so no time for that.

Maybe a green milkshake for later tonight?! hmm...possibility!

hawaii

i was in Hawaii a few weeks ago and let me tell you, it's gorgeous there!  I think that my favorite thing about it is the clouds.  Where we stayed it would be bright, sunny, blue sky, but behind us was the mountains.  And in the mountains you'd see storm clouds and rain.  It was really incredible.

I also got to go whale watching and I could see so much of the island.  Out on the ocean you could just see the different climate changes going on.  Having the mountains and ocean is definitely the best of both worlds.

This is a sunset picture from our room.  We had an amazing view of the ocean!  It's true about the colors in Hawaii=so pretty :)

anyways.  who wants to go back with me?!

the stand

so I absolutely love the lyrics to this song by Hillsong and thought I'd share it :)

Whenever I sing it/hear it, it immediately becomes my cry.

"So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand my soul, Lord, to YOU surrendered

All I am is YOURS"

What does this mean to me?

Well first of all heart abandoned.  Oh man...that's something that just hits me.  I have passions, I have feelings, I have desires, but to put that completely aside and give it to God-that's total surrender right there.  Am I there?  NO! (I wish!) but I certainly can try.  It's just the simple act of completely giving yourself to God.  

Someone mentioned to me that surrender can be thought of as sitting there hands out in front of you, with your palms facing up, that way God can take you just as you are and do as He chooses.  If your hands are clenched, there are then restrictions.  But that simple act of letting go and releasing your hands, upward to Him can give a little sense of freedom.

And then there's the simple words ALL I AM IS YOURS.  I find comfort in the fact that I am God's, nothing will ever change that.  But it's not just some of me, it's ALL of me.  And that's something I constantly need to remind myself.  It's so easy for me to give half-heartedly, but I'm still left with this emptiness and struggle, but if I just continually, minute by minute give up all of me to God-wouldn't life become somewhat easier?  

Just some thoughts...and footprints that have been left on my heart =)

--by the way. this is the 3rd time i think i've had these lyrics posted on here...they must mean something to me!  =P

champs!

here we go Steeler's, here we go!!!!!!!

YAAY.  Superbowl champs =D  What a fun game to watch!  I would love to put up pictures...but I have lost my connector thingy.  sigh.  hopefully i'll find it soon so i can put them up - especially the super cool 3D glasses one (even though the commercial was kind of lame). 

oh and apparently the harrison run back for a touchdown at the end of the 1st half is talked about being one of the greatest plays...wanna know where i was? yeah. i missed it.  i was in the bathroom...how lame, right?!  but i really had to go!!!

anyways...

isn't it funny though, how much hype and attention is put on the superbowl, and then it's over in a second.  already they critics and ESPN analysts are talking about what's going to happen next year.  can't you just take a break for a second, and dwell on the moment?!  i think as humans, we are always looking to the future and never stop to just sit and enjoy the glory all around us.  we're always trying looking to something else.  its like the saying "stop and smell the roses" (however cliche that may be). but seriously!  take a breath!

Happy February (even a day late!) <3

journal excerpt

So this blog, I've decided to actually take directly out of my journal - sorry if it's a little jumbled!

January 18, 2009

So dad and I are on our roadtrip on our way to get my stuff from Greenville.  I kind of have mixed feelings.  It's going to be sad to leave Greenville and all my friends, but I know this is what I need to do.  But then I think, is it really what I need to do, or have I just convinced myself of that?  It's kind of like my food choice.  I don't like fast food and won't eat it, but sometimes I think that I've more trained myself to not like it or eat it.  how do I know that my choice to stay home is truly from Christ and not my selfish desires or wants?  But it's not like I'm trying to escape Greenville, I'm choosing a path that's changing.  I know I'm seeking the Lord's will so as long as I continue to seek Him, I know that He will lead me.  How do I know I haven't convinced myself that I'm following Him, when in actuality I'm not?  I'm not saying that this is the case, but what if?  I guess that I need to rely on the truth and faith.  I can't doubt the truth that God has given and when it comes to decisions I need to stand firm on His truth and foundation.  

here it is

So it's been a few weeks since I've posted, and I guess you could say quite a bit has happened.

First.  I have made the decision to stay home this semester and take classes around here.  It wasn't completely a rash decision: I spent a lot of time over the break praying about what to do and where I felt God leading me.  

There are many reasons to my decision...this past semester at Greenville, I just wasn't has happy or loving it like I did last year.  I felt constricted and not challenged academically and even spiritually.  I've also thought about switching my major and just trying to figure out what I want to do.  There are other reasons too, but I really just feel like God has so much more in store for me and that this change will be a good thing for me.

With that being said, me being home won't be easy.  And I'm not just sitting at home doing nothing!  I really want to get involved in this area in ways I haven't before like in high school.  I'm going to be working a lot on my music, playing at venues, writing and more writing.  Also, I'm helping at IBC with the Jr. High and co-leading a small group.  It will be so easy for me to hide and not get out and do things, but I really want to use this time to my fullest ability.  I want God to teach me and to strengthen me and to use me!

So that's what's going on right now...

I'll keep updated on my progress :)

looking back

Soo.  It's almost the new year.  As I look back on this year I realize how much I've grown, been challenged, and strengthened.  Sometimes I wish that I did things differently, or that things could change.  But one thing I've realized is that God doesn't let things slide.  Every decision and event I've made in the past has been purposeful.  I don't want to regret anything, I want to continue to seek God and His will for my life.

There are going to be some difficult changes and decisions to make in the next few days for me, but I know that God isn't giving me more than I can handle.  He has a plan.  He has a way.  And as long as I'm seeking Him, that's really all I can do.

Now what do I want for this next year?

I've thought about resolutions, but that always seems so cliche sometimes.  I just want to continue to seize each day, and live it to the full potential God has blessed me with.  Whether it be playing the guitar more, writing more music, studying the Word, going out to town, working, whatever it may be!  I want to make the most of life!

so easy to say...so hard to do.

But anyways, I hope you all have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

gingerbread house

soo. last night we had a gingerbread house making party/contest!

I didn't win anything...even though my house is AWESOME!

But it was so much fun!  I love this time of year =D and I LOVE being home!

this is my house

notice the ghetto door/window.

they called it a hooverville.

this was the ultimate winning house that mary and chris made.  

DONE!

YAAAAAAAAY! 

I'm officially done with this semester!!!

Maybe my eye will stop twitching...lol

It's such a relief...this semester has definitely been a tough one in so many ways.  But I know for a fact that God has used this semester to continue to strengthen me in Him.  He has me where I am right now for a reason.  I may not know what lies ahead, but I can rest in the fact that He knows.

I won't be home until Thursday, but maybe I can use these next few days to rest, reflect, and just dwell on Him.

I just gotta remember, God has a purpose for everything.  No matter what has happened or what is to come, God's got it under control :)

tis the season

So it's been a while.  But I've just been caught up in the hustle and bustle of finals and blaaah! 

It doesn't even feel like Christmas to me yet, which saddens me because I LOVE this time of year!  I love the lights, the music, the cheer =D  But when I think about it, I don't want my focus to be too much on the tangible things of the earth.  Just because it's Christmas, shouldn't be why I'm joyful.  I should always have the joy of Christ in me, you know!  

I have so many things to do the next few days...but I don't want to worry or get anxious because of all those things.  Christ calls us to not worry about tomorrow and receive the peace that he has placed in our hearts.  

My eye has been twitching since Sunday.  And I think it's because I'm stressed/tired (random, I know), so instead of freaking out about everything.  I'm going to take it one step at a time.  Focus on my peace and joy in Him.  That is what truly will give me a calm and a satisfaction.

Anyways, next time you start to get anxious or overwhelmed.  Just pray!  He will give you a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Now on to my to-do list...

used books

so I discovered this used bookstore a few blocks from campus and there are TONS of books!

with that being said.

if you have any book wishes, let me know!

there are some classics too :)

backkk

a tease.  that's how i feel my thanksgiving break was!  It was too short!  and i certainly wasn't ready to come back to school.

but here i am...sitting. in good ol' greenville, illinois - aka the middle of nowhere!

i had such a great time at home.  i love my family, i love my friends, and i just love the comfort there.

but God has called me here for a reason and i know that!

i've got 2 1/2 more weeks left of the semester (crazy!) and then a nice relaxing winter break.  i know i say i don't like looking toward something and living for the moment, and i don't...but i just feel like thats the way i live so often.  i need to really just focus on the moment by moment and the here and now and what God is saying to me now!

OH!  one more thing:  my devo today was on worship.  but not just worship in music but in all that we do.  being a walking worshipper.  i want to be a light for Christ in all that i do and bring Him the ultimate glory.  i challenge you to be a WALKING WORSHIPPER

P.S - Christmas music can officially be played now!!! =D