journal excerpt

So this blog, I've decided to actually take directly out of my journal - sorry if it's a little jumbled!

January 18, 2009

So dad and I are on our roadtrip on our way to get my stuff from Greenville.  I kind of have mixed feelings.  It's going to be sad to leave Greenville and all my friends, but I know this is what I need to do.  But then I think, is it really what I need to do, or have I just convinced myself of that?  It's kind of like my food choice.  I don't like fast food and won't eat it, but sometimes I think that I've more trained myself to not like it or eat it.  how do I know that my choice to stay home is truly from Christ and not my selfish desires or wants?  But it's not like I'm trying to escape Greenville, I'm choosing a path that's changing.  I know I'm seeking the Lord's will so as long as I continue to seek Him, I know that He will lead me.  How do I know I haven't convinced myself that I'm following Him, when in actuality I'm not?  I'm not saying that this is the case, but what if?  I guess that I need to rely on the truth and faith.  I can't doubt the truth that God has given and when it comes to decisions I need to stand firm on His truth and foundation.  

here it is

So it's been a few weeks since I've posted, and I guess you could say quite a bit has happened.

First.  I have made the decision to stay home this semester and take classes around here.  It wasn't completely a rash decision: I spent a lot of time over the break praying about what to do and where I felt God leading me.  

There are many reasons to my decision...this past semester at Greenville, I just wasn't has happy or loving it like I did last year.  I felt constricted and not challenged academically and even spiritually.  I've also thought about switching my major and just trying to figure out what I want to do.  There are other reasons too, but I really just feel like God has so much more in store for me and that this change will be a good thing for me.

With that being said, me being home won't be easy.  And I'm not just sitting at home doing nothing!  I really want to get involved in this area in ways I haven't before like in high school.  I'm going to be working a lot on my music, playing at venues, writing and more writing.  Also, I'm helping at IBC with the Jr. High and co-leading a small group.  It will be so easy for me to hide and not get out and do things, but I really want to use this time to my fullest ability.  I want God to teach me and to strengthen me and to use me!

So that's what's going on right now...

I'll keep updated on my progress :)