a life that counts

so yesterday at church, our pastor spoke about David and finding the strength to carry and fight on.  We read from 1 Samuel 30 and went through David's life (how he was chosen King, then went through a lot of hardships, and finally was anointed King as God's vision was fulfilled)

At points in his life, David felt that there was no energy left to even care!  As I think about that, I realize that sometimes I'm in that same exact spot...I just don't want to care or do anything.  But the real question is how do we find strength?

2 Timothy 4:17 says "But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion's mouth."

and

Isaiah 40:30-31 (one of my favorites) "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men 

stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar 

on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

David fought on because the Lord stood with him:

I continue to fight because the Lord stands with me.

a life that counts finds strength

routines

do you ever feel like your life is  a broken record?  just going and going...doing the same thing.  we get into these daily routines and forget to really live.  i feel like i get caught up in doing the same stuff that i start to live just to get by...i'm not living each day to its' fullest.

so how do we get out of that funk?

that daily routine?

just some thoughts...

yes or no

So the other night I watched Yes, Man.  I thought it was a pretty funny movie!  But it got me thinking.  The basic gist of the movie is that this guy (Jim Carey) always says no to people until he goes to this "Yes" meeting and vows to say yes to everyone and everything.  I think Jim Carey is hilarious, so I loved how the whole movie played out.

But anywayyyys.  I'm kind of the opposite of this guy.  I tend to always say yes...and I've thought to myself, why is this?  I think a lot of the reason is that I'm afraid to let people down and disappoint them.  I love doing things for people and helping out, but sometimes my life gets too busy that I don't even have time for myself.  I weasle my way around saying no (even if it's a legit reason!).  In the last few months I really have begun to actually say no, and I don't think it's a bad thing.

I think it's key to have a balance between saying yes and no.  You can't always say yes, because you'll lose a bit of yourself.  But you can't always say no, because then you're not really doing anything.  So that's what I'm working on.  Saying yes and no-because I believe that makes me healthier.

Are you a yes or a no person?  Or both?!

bye-bye teenager

today is my last day of being a teenager.

crazy!!!

any ideas on what to do on my last day?!

or my first day of non-teenaged years?!

dream on

do you ever have dreams that either seem totally real or ones that bug you...and you end up thinking about them way too much or what they could mean.

the other night i had one of those dreams that bugged me the entire next day.  i think that one of the biggest things that bothered me was that i felt helpless in my dream, and i started to be afraid that this was going to happen.  i've come so far in the past few months and for that to just be flushed away (like it was in my dream) scared me.

one of my best friends that i work with at camp in texas said, you know what kelly, satan is trying to get to you and you can't let him.  she's right.  satan knows what will make me anxious and cause me to worry and he knows just how to do it.  i guess this came in the form of a dream.  but satan's not winning this game!  

so anyways, i'm not listening to this dream.  it's in the back of my mind.

oh yeah and also.  you know what happens to me quite a bit?  i can't remember if someone said something and it was in my dream or in reality.  like if you call me in the middle of the night, i'll answer...but i'll be half asleep and so confused in the morning.

well GOOD NIGHT :)

walk with Him

so the one challenge I've taken on this week is walking with my best friend...through anything and everything.  Yes, I know He's with me all the time-but I feel like I neglect the One who gave up everything just for me.  recently I've just felt so distant from Christ in my daily life.  i've just felt such in a fog, like i'm going around in circles, and honestly i wouldn't turn to Christ when i know i need to.  so how am i doing this week?

i've felt so lost from myself and from Christ in me, that i'm slowly stripping away the loneliness i've felt in myself.  one thing that someone said that's hit me is "how can i see Jesus in me when I can't even see myself?" - there's just been a fog within me from so much going on...

but slowly i can see Christ working in me and through all the struggles i've gone through in the past few months.  i'm turning to my best friend.  the One who has and will always be there for me even when i may stray.  i can't even fathom that sometimes...

happy st patrick's day!

just wanted to say HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY :)

I made green chocolate chip cookies!  I'd put a picture of them up on here but 1.  they don't look to appetizing (but they taste delicious!) and 2. i've lost my connector thing for my camera...

if you want some, come stop by! hehehe

I was going to make green pancakes, but today's a busy day so no time for that.

Maybe a green milkshake for later tonight?! hmm...possibility!

hawaii

i was in Hawaii a few weeks ago and let me tell you, it's gorgeous there!  I think that my favorite thing about it is the clouds.  Where we stayed it would be bright, sunny, blue sky, but behind us was the mountains.  And in the mountains you'd see storm clouds and rain.  It was really incredible.

I also got to go whale watching and I could see so much of the island.  Out on the ocean you could just see the different climate changes going on.  Having the mountains and ocean is definitely the best of both worlds.

This is a sunset picture from our room.  We had an amazing view of the ocean!  It's true about the colors in Hawaii=so pretty :)

anyways.  who wants to go back with me?!

the stand

so I absolutely love the lyrics to this song by Hillsong and thought I'd share it :)

Whenever I sing it/hear it, it immediately becomes my cry.

"So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand my soul, Lord, to YOU surrendered

All I am is YOURS"

What does this mean to me?

Well first of all heart abandoned.  Oh man...that's something that just hits me.  I have passions, I have feelings, I have desires, but to put that completely aside and give it to God-that's total surrender right there.  Am I there?  NO! (I wish!) but I certainly can try.  It's just the simple act of completely giving yourself to God.  

Someone mentioned to me that surrender can be thought of as sitting there hands out in front of you, with your palms facing up, that way God can take you just as you are and do as He chooses.  If your hands are clenched, there are then restrictions.  But that simple act of letting go and releasing your hands, upward to Him can give a little sense of freedom.

And then there's the simple words ALL I AM IS YOURS.  I find comfort in the fact that I am God's, nothing will ever change that.  But it's not just some of me, it's ALL of me.  And that's something I constantly need to remind myself.  It's so easy for me to give half-heartedly, but I'm still left with this emptiness and struggle, but if I just continually, minute by minute give up all of me to God-wouldn't life become somewhat easier?  

Just some thoughts...and footprints that have been left on my heart =)

--by the way. this is the 3rd time i think i've had these lyrics posted on here...they must mean something to me!  =P

champs!

here we go Steeler's, here we go!!!!!!!

YAAY.  Superbowl champs =D  What a fun game to watch!  I would love to put up pictures...but I have lost my connector thingy.  sigh.  hopefully i'll find it soon so i can put them up - especially the super cool 3D glasses one (even though the commercial was kind of lame). 

oh and apparently the harrison run back for a touchdown at the end of the 1st half is talked about being one of the greatest plays...wanna know where i was? yeah. i missed it.  i was in the bathroom...how lame, right?!  but i really had to go!!!

anyways...

isn't it funny though, how much hype and attention is put on the superbowl, and then it's over in a second.  already they critics and ESPN analysts are talking about what's going to happen next year.  can't you just take a break for a second, and dwell on the moment?!  i think as humans, we are always looking to the future and never stop to just sit and enjoy the glory all around us.  we're always trying looking to something else.  its like the saying "stop and smell the roses" (however cliche that may be). but seriously!  take a breath!

Happy February (even a day late!) <3

journal excerpt

So this blog, I've decided to actually take directly out of my journal - sorry if it's a little jumbled!

January 18, 2009

So dad and I are on our roadtrip on our way to get my stuff from Greenville.  I kind of have mixed feelings.  It's going to be sad to leave Greenville and all my friends, but I know this is what I need to do.  But then I think, is it really what I need to do, or have I just convinced myself of that?  It's kind of like my food choice.  I don't like fast food and won't eat it, but sometimes I think that I've more trained myself to not like it or eat it.  how do I know that my choice to stay home is truly from Christ and not my selfish desires or wants?  But it's not like I'm trying to escape Greenville, I'm choosing a path that's changing.  I know I'm seeking the Lord's will so as long as I continue to seek Him, I know that He will lead me.  How do I know I haven't convinced myself that I'm following Him, when in actuality I'm not?  I'm not saying that this is the case, but what if?  I guess that I need to rely on the truth and faith.  I can't doubt the truth that God has given and when it comes to decisions I need to stand firm on His truth and foundation.  

here it is

So it's been a few weeks since I've posted, and I guess you could say quite a bit has happened.

First.  I have made the decision to stay home this semester and take classes around here.  It wasn't completely a rash decision: I spent a lot of time over the break praying about what to do and where I felt God leading me.  

There are many reasons to my decision...this past semester at Greenville, I just wasn't has happy or loving it like I did last year.  I felt constricted and not challenged academically and even spiritually.  I've also thought about switching my major and just trying to figure out what I want to do.  There are other reasons too, but I really just feel like God has so much more in store for me and that this change will be a good thing for me.

With that being said, me being home won't be easy.  And I'm not just sitting at home doing nothing!  I really want to get involved in this area in ways I haven't before like in high school.  I'm going to be working a lot on my music, playing at venues, writing and more writing.  Also, I'm helping at IBC with the Jr. High and co-leading a small group.  It will be so easy for me to hide and not get out and do things, but I really want to use this time to my fullest ability.  I want God to teach me and to strengthen me and to use me!

So that's what's going on right now...

I'll keep updated on my progress :)