why is this you ask?
well for various reasons.
1. they fly at you and scare you
2. there are millions of them...they are everywhere!
3. they poop on you...
#3 being the main reason why i don't like birds. Yes, I have been pooped on by a bird...not once, not twice, but three times. (do they say it's good luck? I don't know...I don't particularly think so since they keep pooping on me)
the tale of 3 splats starts NOW.
unfortunate event #1- I was in middle school I'm pretty sure...our family was in Mexico on vacation. I was playing mini golf and what do you know. splat-right on my shoulder. Luckily I had a swim suit on and could immediately run to the pool and jump in. gross. just gross!
#2 - I was sitting on the lifeguard stand at Pine Cove one summer watching the campers play water polo or something and boom-right on my thigh! I started screaming and freaking out. The campers all turned and kept saying "Miss America, what happened?! What's wrong?!" (for those of you who don't know, at Pine Cove Camps we have camp names...yes, mine is Miss America) I yelled "A bird pooped on my leg-get it off get it off!" I couldn't jump off the stand into the water because I was on lifeguard duty. Luckily, another gracious lifeguard got me a paper towel and I was able to rub the grossness off my leg.
#3 - This is the most recent one...I was walking in downtown Franklin, TN...minding my own business...and plop on my shoulder...AGAIN! When I heard the noise and felt something on my shoulder, I knew...I slowly turned my head to discover the nastiness right there. I flipped and ran into the nearest store-Binks and started jumping up and down...i just wanted it off of me! My friends were hysterically laughing and my mother too. The closest thing to a paper towel the store had was a receipt...so we wiped it off with a receipt and once we got to another store i properly washed my shoulder. Oh my mother also apologized to the employees at Binks for me being crazy pretty much (they really did think I was crazy.) I'm sorry, i just don't like birds! the rest of the day, i ran from covered area to covered area. thanks bird.
why the sudden topic of my dislike and fear of birds? well simple. there are TONS of them in Tennessee...and the flock by the thousand. I was running the other day and they came out of nowhere. I look like an idiot running by them with my hands over my head. I have no escape when I'm running, but you can bet if i see birds while i'm in the car-i won't get out until they are gone!
And of course, right now...on my windshield where the wiper fluid can't reach...a bird left me a present. so i am reminded every time I get in the car and drive. thanks, and pleaaase leave me alone?
1 comment:
Those are crazy stories. I can't believe it's happened to you three times!
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