expectations

I was thinking last night.  And I wonder if I expect too much from people.

*Now before I continue with this, please don't get offended by anything I write.  It is really thoughts just going through my mind that I want to try and sort through.  Nothing against anyone!  And I don't think of myself as above anyone either.*

Where to begin...well I guess with saying that I love reaching out to others; my friends, my family and anyone in need.  I believe strongly in community and lifting each other up in prayer, in being honest with each other (without fear of judgement), and in all around Godly fellowship.  Pine Cove Christian Camps = excellent example of community.  Now before camp, I would find myself helping others, but really struggling to receive that same help.  Through camp, I really learned the importance of helping each other and being vulnerable with each other - it's what God calls us to be and do.

since being back at school, though, things haven't been quite the same.  I'm at the same point where I love reaching out and helping others, but I'm not getting that in return.  But should I really expect it?

Not everyone has the same mindset that I do to reach out and lift each other up, which is okay.  

But I still find myself waiting for someone to just sit alongside me, put their arm around me, and pray.

Last night at Vespers, there was a lot of community and surrender and it was great.  I was sitting toward the back and I saw friend after friend sit around each other, giving hugs and just being there.  I wanted that. (Is it wrong to want that).  I know that God is there for me, but still...

I'm struggling, yes.  Along with everyone else.  But isn't it easier to overcome these struggles together?  I find myself alone at college, especially in my struggle...one in particular.

Should I expect someone to come alongside of me if they don't know what's going on?  But then again, some people do, and they're still not reaching out.  Is that wrong of me?

Now again, I'm not writing this to condemn anyone, or even for people to feel sorry for me.  DONT!  I've got my Heavenly Father with me always :)

I just have been thinking a lot about that, and the expectations I put on people that I don't think I should.

just being real.

just being honest.